When Legality Mirrors Kidnapping: Unpacking Apathy and the Human Condition

I have been sitting with a question that refuses to leave me alone: If it’s legal, why does it look like kidnapping? This question cuts to the core of how laws and systems can sometimes mask acts that feel deeply wrong, even when they follow the letter of the law. It challenges us to think about power, control, and how society decides who deserves empathy and who does not.

This post explores the confusion created by legal frameworks that resemble kidnapping, the trap of deciding who gets to be seen as fully human, and how societies train themselves not to care. Finally, it offers ways to engage with these difficult realities without being consumed by them.

The Confusion Created by Legal Power Plays

One of the most effective tools of power is confusion by design. When something looks like kidnapping but is legal, it creates a fog that makes it hard to question or resist. This confusion serves those in power by:

• Blurring moral lines: If an act is legal, many assume it must be right, even if it feels wrong.

• Normalizing control: Legal systems can enforce control over individuals in ways that feel like force or coercion.

• Silencing dissent: When legality is used as a shield, it becomes difficult to speak out without risking consequences.

  
  

For example, consider cases where children are removed from their families under legal authority. The process may follow strict rules, but for those affected, it can feel like abduction. The law grants power to remove a child, but the emotional and human experience is one of loss and trauma.

This confusion is not accidental. It is a strategic way to maintain systems that benefit some while harming others. Recognizing this helps us see beyond the surface and question what legality really means in these contexts.

The “Deserving” Trap: Who Gets to Be Human?

A dangerous trap in understanding cruelty is the idea that some people are more deserving of care and humanity than others. This trap divides people into categories:

• Those who are “worthy” of empathy, protection, and rights.

• Those who are “undeserving,” often dehumanized or blamed for their situation.

  
  

This division is often reinforced by language, media, and policy. When society labels certain groups as less deserving, it becomes easier to justify harsh treatment or neglect.

For instance, immigrants detained under legal authority may be portrayed as criminals or threats, which shifts public perception away from their humanity. This framing allows systems to operate with less public scrutiny or outrage.

Understanding this trap is crucial because it reveals how empathy is not automatic but shaped by social and political forces. It challenges us to expand our circle of care beyond convenient categories.

How Societies Practice Not Caring

When societies face overwhelming challenges—such as economic crises, mass displacement, or political instability—apathy can become a survival mechanism. Caring deeply about every injustice can be emotionally exhausting and feel impossible to act on.

This leads to:

• Emotional distancing: People detach from the suffering of others to protect their own mental health.

• Normalization of cruelty: Repeated exposure to harsh realities can dull sensitivity.

• Selective attention: Society focuses on some issues while ignoring others deemed less urgent or relevant.

  
  

For example, media coverage often highlights certain humanitarian crises while neglecting others. This selective attention shapes public concern and policy responses.

Recognizing this pattern helps us understand why apathy spreads and how it is not simply a personal failing but a social condition.

What Can We Do Without Being Consumed?

Facing these realities can feel overwhelming. The question becomes: How can we engage with these issues without being consumed by despair or helplessness?

Here are some practical steps:

• Educate yourself and others about the systems behind these legal practices. Knowledge builds clarity and reduces confusion.

• Support organizations working to protect human rights and challenge unjust laws.

• Practice empathy intentionally, expanding your circle of care to include those often dehumanized.

• Set boundaries for your emotional energy. It’s okay to step back when needed to avoid burnout.

• Use your voice in conversations, voting, and community actions to push for change.

  
  

By taking these steps, we can resist the trap of apathy and contribute to a more just and caring society.

What I’m doing with all of this (so it doesn’t consume me)

This is where I’m choosing to shift.

I’m not going to pretend I’m fine, and I’m not going to stop paying attention. But I’m also not letting rage be the only thing I feed.

So here are a few things I’m doing in real time not as a lecture, but as a lifeline:

• Name the feeling. Fear. Grief. Rage. Numbness. If I can name it, it stops running the whole show.

• Shrink the time horizon. I don’t have to solve the world today. I have to get through today with my spirit intact.

• Choose one action. One call. One share. One conversation. One donation. One boundary. One thing I can actually do.

• Make space for the good stories too. Not to erase the horror but to remember we’re not alone.

A quick “Art Drop” (release without spiraling)

If you’re carrying this in your chest like I am, try this:

1. Draw two circles on paper.

2. Label one “What I can control” and the other “What I can’t.”

3. Fill them in fast no perfection.

4. Under the control circle, write one sentence: “Today, I can…”

That’s it. That’s the step.

This is the safe space

If you’re reading this and thinking, I feel crazy because none of this feels real you’re not crazy.

You’re awake.

And if you’re tired, scared, angry, or numb, you’re not alone.

This is why I’m building Just My Story: a safe space with a spine. We can tell the truth, feel the real, and still choose not to become what we hate.

We have to live in this world but we don’t have to be of it.

Word from Ty

I’m still not okay. I’m trying to hold onto my softness without pretending the world is soft. I’m trying to stay human without letting anger turn me into somebody I don’t recognize. If you’re feeling it too, come connect with me. We’re going to tell the truth and we’re going to find our way through it together.